Weekending

The football season is over, at least as far as Robin's team is concerned, and we get our weekends back! No more disappearing to watch, or play, or run the line. Hurrah. So we went out both days, as the weather was fine. Saturday got swallowed up by shopping; Sunday, however, was a joy. We went into Suffolk, to visit the village of Lavenham. Lavenham is an artist's paradise, a medieval village which was at the centre of the wool trade. The National Trust has a property there, the Guildhall of Corpus Christi, a beautiful building filled with interesting textile things from before the Industrial Revolution, and a Dyer's garden, full of all sorts of herbs and plants for dyeing. But, though the Guildhall is gorgeous, so is almost every other building in the village. I particularly enjoyed the Crooked House Gallery

Of course, its intruiguing architecture is part of its charm, that's obvious from the picture; but it is a treasure house of art inside, much of it unusual, including some wonderful small sculptures by Zoe Rubens, witty and intruiguing. I would have loved to have taken several of them home...but sadly, the pocket wouldn't allow. Still, there's her website, and her blog...and a girl can dream...and save up! For now, though, the cash is going to pay for a lovely bolt of cloth for dyeing, so sculpture will have to wait, I'm afraid. Sigh. All in all, a good time was had by all concerned (and a good lunch, to boot). And yes, I did forget my camera (thanks to the Crooked House Gallery for the image...), but believe me, I'll be back there, soon, camera and pastels at the ready.

Hurrah!

I found my glasses, Rayna found hers and I discovered I am Not Alone in the losing of glasses. Next time I wander round the house looking for them, I shall think of you all, and grin!
And thank you for the advice; yes, indeed, mine were on top of a book, beautifully camouflaged so that neither Robin nor I could spot them...sigh.

I'm working on the quilts for France, five down, several to go. I say several, because I haven't quite decided how many or which. But I will, I will...and preferably before France emails and says, 'Well???...'.

I didn't draw yesterday, out and about instead, collecting my Brother (that would be a sewing machine, you understand, not an unknown relative), and besides, Thursday is Therapy Day, and that's more than enough focussed activity for one day. Today, though, I drew this. It's not perfect, technically speaking, but it is me. What's more, I discovered why I'm doing these drawings; to find myself. I think too much. Way too much. It gets in the way, and I get confused. What's important is not what I think, but what I see, but looking in a mirror doesn't do it the way that drawing does; neither does a photograph. As a meditative practice, a self portrait is perfect for me. So, I'm going to set aside an hour a day for this practical branch of meditation. Self obsessed? Perhaps. But it's better than listening to the voices that say 'you're not....' or 'you're too...'. Or even, 'you're worthless, useless, pathetic'. And of course, it has the added benefit of improving my drawing, my observation skills and goodness knows what else...and it's cheaper than a life class. Hurrah, indeed.

Seeing Things...

or rather, not. I have reached the age where two pairs of glasses are required, one for reading, one for seeing in general. I can't have bifocals, because one eye is shortsighted, and the other longsighted, and apparently that doesn't work with bifocals...or bifocals don't work with that. So, this morning, I free motioned a piece, and bound (you read it here, I bound) a couple of pieces, then thought, lunchtime...and off I went, reading glasses in hand, seeing glasses on nose. I rang up and bought a bolt of fabric for dyeing, and used my reading glasses to Consult The Catalogue. Then took them off again, and started off with them in my hand, to go back up to do more quilting. Somewhere between here and there (two flights of stairs, two phonecalls and a trip to the loo), my glasses have disappeared. Hear me scream!!

This is, sadly, a regular occurrence. When Robin sees a vision of loveliness in a nightdress floating around aimlessly before bedtime, he says, you'll have forgotten your glasses, right? And helps me find them. In fact, it's a well known fact of life in this house that where I am, there are my glasses not. But I've been looking for ages, and I Can't Find Them At All. I've even looked in rooms I know I wasn't in, in the hope that I'll come across them. Heaven knows, my memory is as poor as my eyesight. Sigh. Lets hope I find them soon. Reading with the book two inches away from my nose is just Not An Option.

Hopefully, I'll find them before Barcelona; I'm going there next month with Sandy and Dijanne (in the photograph). I have to say that a glass of wine is more likely to be seen in our hands than the wherewithal for altering books....did I say that? Oh well...

I'm doing this...

before I change my mind. I thought I might share with you my journey through self portraiture. I spent a year doing a self portrait a day, several years ago, and for reasons which I won't bore you with today, I decided to take that discipline up again. This is the first of what I think will be many; this one took two days, and there's still something wrong with the right eye.... come to think of it, the face is too long, the nose is dreadful (my noses always are...what is it with noses???), and there are other things wrong with it. But it is A Start. And it is a start that I've been putting off for a long time. Why? Oh, all the usual things. It's Not What I Usually Do, for a start. I'm Not Good At It, for another. It's Hard. It's time consuming. It's hard. Did I say it was hard??? And that I'm not good at it? You get my drift.

I've come to the conclusion that these are Not Good Reasons for failing to do something I enjoy. It's the first time I've used pastels, too, come to think of it, and that might be oil avoidance, but there again, I'm keeping a sketchbook, and it is all in pastel, too. I rather like pastel. It is such a direct medium. Especially when you lean too hard on a small bit and it crumbles into dust...sigh...

Above all, though, I'm doing this in order to put my money where my mouth is. I spend a lot of time encouraging others, especially beginners, to do the work, to show the work to people they trust, to do more work, and so on... I know how hard that is; I was a beginner once myself. And here I am again, at the beginning of a new learning process. 'Cept I'm showing this rather poor drawing to anyone who's daft enough to look at it. Gulp. So if I can do that, so can you, Ms Beginner. It'll be okay. I promise. Now to publish this before I change my mind... gulp...

Staying...

in the zone, though, is entirely a different matter. That said, this morning, I completed a painting that I'd promised as a housewarming present. This makes me feel somewhat smug, of course...and then I went on to add paint to 'Peaks and Troughs', yesterday's picture. You can see the difference. Or, I hope you can see the difference. I think it transforms the whole piece. But then, of course, you can't see the whole piece...so you'll just have to take my word for it.

I'm now painting samples of lutradur, a tedious job, but I intend to make them into Something A Bit More Interesting, so I dare say I'll survive. One of the things I Really Must Do This Week, is to dye some cloth for backings. Working small has led to me cutting up this and that, til it's too small to serve as a backing, even for a small piece. Sigh. I dare say it's good for my soul...and I do want to do some dye painting, too, though it rained today, so I couldn't have got out into the garden which is the best place for dye painting.

It's 2pm and I'm contemplating a rather late lunch; I want to go draw this afternoon, sketches for a painting I have in the back of my mind. Or maybe I'll read a bit. Or sew... Decisions, decisions....

In The Zone

This is a small part of the top section of a new quilt, Peaks and Troughs, which will be shown at theLyon exhibition this year. I'm still delighted to have been invited to show work there, and I'm looking forward to teaching a lutradur workshop too. I've been working on some new things for that exhibit, and though I'd intended to take some older works, almost all of the work I'll be showing there is new, and all of it uses either lutradur or evolon. It's also all larger than I usually work, though not much, no shocks there, I can't see myself ever working the size that Sally achieves

I've been working hard all week...well, I say hard...how hard are you working when you can drink as much coffee as I do...sigh...or talk as much on the phone as I do (usually with the aforementioned Sally, come to think of it...how does she manage to make such large quilts?). But there's a real feeling of flow about the work, and it's a joy to be in that state. If you're interested, there's a book by Mihali Csikszentmihalyi, Flow, The Psychology Of Happiness, which is interesting reading. It's not a self help book, more a suggestion of some principles that lead to happiness, and examples of people who have used them for themselves...it doesn't, however, tell you what to do! Which is just as well, as I'm known for being contrary and doing the absolute opposite of what I'm told...sigh...

I'm planning to work this way for the rest of the week, get all the pieces finished, or at least, only requiring their sleeves, and perhaps do some dye painting to boot. Purr. My idea of a good week. Hope yours is as happy, creative and enjoyable as I intend mine to be...

Stately Visiting

We joined the National Trust this year, with the intention of working our way through England's heritage, or at least, the bits that are within reasonable travelling distance. Last weekend, we went to visit this beautiful stately home, Oxburgh Hall, in the village of Oxenham, near Swaffam. I was struck by the beauty of this gate. All in all, I was surprised that I didn't take many photographs while I was there, and those that I did take are of walls and/or buildings. I hardly ever seem to take pictures of people. Robin doesn't much like his photograph taken, and I can rarely ever catch him unawares (dammit!).

Oxburgh has a lot of fine art, but its particular claim to fame, or one of them, is that it has a set of three hangings made by Mary, Queen of Scots together with Bess Hardwick, two of the finest embroiderers of the time. I admired them, of course, they are beautiful, and I know that they are full of interesting references to political and religious matters of the day, amongst other things. But I was struck by a sign outside that pointed to the 'Marian Hanging'. Despite the spelling, it did seem a little...well...threatening? It turned out that it was one of several pieces made by contemporary artists who have spent time at Oxburgh, and who have made art in response to it. I suspect it was almost inevitable that someone would make a piece for a bed, though it was presented as a coverlet, rather than a hanging. Personally, I preferred the work we saw as we arrived, beautiful work on a small scale with paper. And, of course, I did spend some time in the second hand bookshop...oops...!

I can resist anything...

except temptation...and these were wondrously tempting. The chocolates, for that is what they were, are long gone, but I kept the boxes, meaning to alter them. And I wonder why my studios are cluttered...sigh... I have rather a large collection of alterables, including some large cheese boxes that are irresistable...and a wonderful book from the 1960s entitled 'Fabric Collage'. I thought I'd do some contemporary fabric collage within its pages.

Today, though, AT (After Therapy), I went wandering in Norwich. The buskers were out in force, including a piper in full Highland dress (didn't recognise the tartan, though that isn't unusual). What was unusual was that I enjoyed it. Most busking pipers are, well, not very good. This one was, so I popped a pound in his case. Like all good pipers, though, he wasn't for stopping. Which was fair enough.

I find myself looking at Frida Kahlo's work, and bought myself a book about her today. I didn't like it much, but as I grow and change, my tastes change, too. I admire her honesty and strength. I'd like to think I could make art that has that honesty...but meanwhile, I'll just keep on trying.

And Now...

for something completely different. I was playing with the Embellisher on Saturday, and found myself playing with flowers...These blooms are embellished onto lutradur; I had the intention of making a bag with them, but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps some added stitch...perhaps not. I like the simplicity of it. Perhaps I'll make some more...perhaps not. Either way, I've enjoyed making something out of my usual style. Or is it?

They say...

that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Mine were to blog every day for a while, given that I've been appearing so spasmodically recently. But I'm up and down, tired and tireder, so I've not been giving the blog the attention it deserves. Will Try Harder, I promise. Then Julie tagged me for the 'The Thinking Blogger Award'. I was taken aback, rather. One of my core beliefs is that it's essential to create meaning, so I blog as part of that expression of self, really. But I read for fun, pure and simple. So finding five meaningful blogs was, I thought, going to be challenging. And then I thought about it. Olga's blog has to be up there at number one, it's just great, visually and textually. Then there's June's brainchild, the Ragged Cloth Cafe. Thelma's always interesting, particularly when blogging about curating (hint, hint...), and both she and Dijanne discuss textiles in the context of real life. It's a good reminder that an artist doesn't exist in a vacuum, and has issues other than the price of cloth to contend with. The fifth, I guess, has to be Arashi, who isn't posting at present, but when he does, he makes me think, and think, and think.

So...my five nominations are these. And thanks, Julie, for the vote of confidence. I'm flattered.

Sometimes...

you have to wait a while before the solution becomes obvious. While Sandy was drifting through my sewing room, she found a piece that I made when I first got hold of lutradur. It uses a piece of lightweight lutradur that was printed by Dijanne Cevaal which she sent me in some samples of lutradur to play with. That was a while ago! I'd layered it over a print I'd made, a symbol I use often to indicate abundance, part of my personal imagery. But there was something unsatisfactory about it. I picked it up and put it down, and finally, it joined the mayhem in the workroom, those things that you don't want to throw out, but aren't happy enough with to continue.

Anyway, out it came last weekend, and I knew immediately what to do with it. I added a little more stitch, and then burned out the lutradur to show the underlying pattern. And then, added a little copper foil, just a hint of it. And here it is.

I usually throw out things I'm not happy with, or cut them up. To be honest, it doesn't happen all that often, perhaps I'm just easily pleased. But I knew there was a solution to this particular problem, just didn't know, at the time, quite what it was. I'm pleased with it, now. I think I'll mount and frame it; it's only A4 sized.

Spring is Sprung...

everywhere is frothy...the daffodils dance in the breeze, the cherry blossom flounces over the trees, and fields are full of oilseed rape. This relative newcomer is taking over...everywhere you look, on grass verges, in cracks in the pavement, in the garden, there'll be an oilseed rape plant straggling up somewhere or other...it's the new dandelion. I'm a fan of it in its place, en masse in the field, I love that vibrant yellow colour, I don't mind the scent, which is like heavy honey, and unlike most of the population, I'm not allergic to it, either.

Working on Urban Tattoo II, this is a section of it in, whilst still in the stitching stage. I think I've completed that, now, but I want to add paint and possibly painted bondaweb, so I'm not finished. I might even bind it. Now that would be unusual; I hate binding (don't like frames, either, come to think of it). But I'd hate to be too predictable...

What Happens When...

you add this woman to this mess? Answer....she tidies up!!! I watched Sandy Marcoux as she gently wandered round my sewing room, picking up a bit here, and a bit there, and putting it who knows where? I surely don't. All I did was to take her up to the cloth studio to admire my new machine, and off she went. Ask her how long it has taken to unpack her own sewing room (snigger).

Actually, apart from the attempt to tidy up my cloth studio (and who can blame her...it's always nice to be able to see where you're walking...), we had a good time. Played with some lutradur, stitched on a quilt or two, laughed a lot, ate more than we ought, perhaps, went to the pub... all in all a very civilised time was had by all concerned. Perhaps we should consider a UK Bloggers retreat this summer...what do you think?

Here's One I Knitted Earlier...

...in true Blue Peter fashion. Two pages of the altered book described below. For those of you interested in the technical stuff, I prepped the book in the usual way, stuck two pages together, coated them with acrylic gesso, which had been coloured with acrylic paint, and added scraps of scrunched up tissue paper. When that had dried, I sprinkled Brusho powder on the pages, which I'd dampened with water, and then misted them with more water. And this was the result.

Out and About

to retrieve my now fixed Bernina. This part of the countryside is particularly beautiful, and the weather is mild, so the drive was a pleasure. I spent some of it thinking about writing an article about using lutradur for one of the patchwork magazines. It's funny how these ideas come to one as if by magic at times when you can't actually write them down, like in the shower, or driving the car. The creativity fairy clearly has a sense of humour... But then, if it's a good idea, you'll remember it...won't you ?

I've been making altered books. This one is part finished, I used it to try out working with Brusho paint, which I'd had for a while but not used before. I'm pleased with the results, but not entirely sure where to go now with it. I've been finding that a recurrent theme in the (still ongoing) therapy has been looking after myself. The first two books I made were very much about things that happened in the past, a description of my childhood, direct and indirect. This larger book seems to want to be rooted in the present. I think I will turn it into a reminder of all the wonderful things and people I have in my life now. Watch this space!

ps actually, watch the one above it...I can't add the picture, so I'll try another method...which will mean the picture is separate...sigh...I've been happy with the new, improved Blogspot til now...

New Toys...

in the plural. Would it surprise you to know I bought another sewing machine? No? You know me too well... I bought an old Bernina, a 1090S. I already have a 640, but, as you know, it is in sulk mode. So I thought I'd better have a backup for my backup. And thank you, Fulvia, you were right about the Husqvarna (but it didn't stop me buying something else...). Robin is mildly disgusted. He fails to see the point of having more than one machine, or rather, more than two. He accepts I have one for free motion, the other for straight and fancy stitches. He just doesn't see why I'd want any more than that. And right enough, he's an accountant, he has one calculator...no backup....but then, you can buy a calculator just about anywhere. A sewing machine is an entirely different kettle of fish.

I did say toys in the plural. A small boiler was offered on freecycle, and I snapped it up. Why? Well, I dye in my utility room, which has no sink, strangely enough, so all the water for dissolving dye and the like has to be lugged through in buckets and bottles from the kitchen, through the hall (cream carpet...). With the boiler, I can have lots of water in situ, and only have to fill it once. I am woman, hear me purr...lovely stuff.

And the same can be said for two parcels from Thelma. One contained some cloth, the other some threads and an intruiguing piece of felting, over a bar of soap (leastways, I think that's what it is...it smells lovely). Not sure whether to wash with it or admire it. My money's on the latter. Thanks, Thelma...

I'll talk about the weekend tomorrow, but meanwhile, a piece of work, a postcard, a linoprint on handmade paper, a lovely, soft brown (wish I could remember where I got it from...sigh...) fused to pelmet Vilene, covered with lightweight lutradur. I'm pleased with the overall effects.

What Are The Odds...

that all three sewing machines should break down at the same time? Slim, yes? Within a fortnight? No problem at all. The Brother has a problem with the feed dogs...they're stuck in the lowered position. That would be okay...except that I want to use it as a normal machine, and the foot for free motion work is broken.... sigh. Then there's the Husqvarna. It seems to be in perfect working order. There's just one small problem; the foot is hovering high above the feed dogs, even in the lowered position. As far as I know, the shank didn't shrink, so what on earth is *that* about? And finally, the Bernina just Won't Go. Problem with the belt, I think. It's not broken, just not turning. That narrows your options just a tad.

So I've arranged to borrow a machine, and two of the three will go to the sewing machine guru. This is annoying...I'm two thirds through quilting my curator's piece for 'From The Heart'. I hate to stop when I'm in full flow. But hey...

One piece of technology that is finally working is the laptop. We were lent an external CD drive, and discovered that the internal one just ain't working. So I finally have access to over a hundred photographs that were on the hard drive. Like this one...which I don't remember making...Dijanne, is it one of the things you made when you were here the first time? Or what? Must be nice to have a memory that works...mine seems to have gone the way of my sewing machines...which takes me back to where we started.

Getting To Grips...

with Thunderbird is proving to be...interesting, but worthwhile. I love the way it eats spam! I did get a bit alarmed when all my mail disappeared, and twenty messages seemed to be around somewhere, but not findable...but I sorted that out All By Myself. If you hear a note of smugness in that last comment, you're absolutely right.

So, have a look at Around and Around, a lutradur piece which I've just finished. It started as a dark brown monoprint on white linen, which had a piece of dyed lutradur added to it. I then stitched and added embellishment using coloured gutta. You don't see the layers particularly well in the overall shot, so I've added a detail, too. Remember you can click on the images for a closer (and larger) look. Overall, I'm pleased with the result. Now to tackle the Much Bigger Piece of Lutradur that's lying on the ironing board, for which I Have Plans.

Fun, Fun, Fun

with a new cloth, Evolon, which is a micromicro fibre (I think...) by the same people who make lutradur. Part of the reason I didn't use transfer dyes before, was the feel of the man made fibres...but this stuff is gorgeous, soft, with a hand a bit like velvet, though lighter and really easy to use. Or perhaps it compares better to the feel of very soft suede leather. Either way, it's fab! I started out making ATCs with it, but a couple of days ago, produced this, much larger, piece, which I'm delighted with. It stitches beautifully, too, so when it's done, I'll take it with me to France.

I have to admit to a bias; I'm sponsored from time to time by Spunart, who supply both lutradur and evolon, and they gave me some to try. But even if I wasn't, and they hadn't, I'd love this particular fabric, just as much as I love lutradur. Mervyn tells me he has it in stock...I wonder if it will become the next lutradur???

What The Well Dressed Washing Line...

....is wearing this year. The big chunk of navy blue cloth is for Sally, to make a binding. Out of shot is the shirt I overdyed from sludge to navy blue at the same time...Robin says he's happy to wear it now. And then there's all that paper. Given that it was such a lovely day yesterday, I went out to paint with some transfer dye. I'm designing a couple of workshops, so I needed to try those ideas out, and, to be honest, it has been a while since I was creative just for the sake of it, so that was important, too. I did have fun! Later on, I transferred some of the dye to cloth, but that's another picture for another day...

Today, I'm planning to transfer a bit more dye to lutradur, and go to the postoffice to send Sally her cloth (unironed, I know she'll only wash it again!), and maybe do a bit more dyepainting...or not...there's not much dye left of that batch, perhaps it'll have to wait til later... It feels good to be busy with these things, instead of admin or work for something else that isn't art...hurrah for Spring.

It Must Be Spring When...

Advo, the old cat, runs around in circles in the garden, chasing his tail (and any other cat within chasing distance), there are tadpoles in the pond, I can dry the washing on the line outside and leave the front windows open... It's also Spring when I wake up to bright sunshine and a sense of wellbeing that doesn't melt as soon as I get out of bed. So lets hope that all of the above are here to stay...except the tadpoles...they have to become Frogs. How else can we be guaranteed the occasional handsome prince?

I'm in the process of getting my life back in some semblance of order. I'll start with the grovelling apology. I have several little envelopes with work in them, ready to go out...and only a few addresses...blame the change in computer, please, not my incompetence. Rather than list everyone here, if you asked me for a small piece of work when it was offered, could you please email me privately with your details, so I can get them out this week, and stop feeling hugely guilty about the whole thing. I thank you.

I've been playing with some velvet; this piece, Prayer, is handdyed velvet overlayed with painted Bondaweb (fusible), stitched and painted with coloured gutta. I'm getting back to work on the lutradur book, and I'm going to dye some cloth to take with me to Lyon. I'm staying reasonably quiet, you understand, keeping myself to myself, staying in a lot...and am beginning to feel the better of it all, even the therapy. I am in a process of becoming, just like a chrysalis eventually opens to allow a butterfly to emerge. Lets hope I can be as bright as the yellow butterfly I saw today.

Frothing At The Mouth?

I should be. Not only have I a new operating system, I'm now the proud (?!?) owner of a network of pcs. It took Robin all day yesterday and a lot of swearing before we could get anything much to happen...sigh. Robin's usually really good at That Sort Of Stuff, but it was not the instant success that we'd hoped it would be. Oh well. Somewhere around 2pm, I went off and pieced a top; something had to give, and it was always likely to be my temper, so I figured the best place for me was up in the studio at the top of the house.

Today, I had a visitor, Moira from next door came to play with some of my toys. She discovered something that every quilter knows; there is a wealth of exciting stuff on the floor, all you have to do is scoop it up! She asked if I'd introduce her to my textile friends, and she'd go round all their floors picking up the odd bead, sequin, scrap and leftover thread. Then she paused and said, they'd think she was strange. No, I said, but they wouldn't be too keen...they use the stuff on the floor, just like you did!

No photos today...I'm still getting my head round this computer, and I hate to think what it'll make of my camera software. And yes, I WILL get rid of Outlook...it's Orrible...GRRRRR. Fortunately, the change of computers was Not My Idea...

The Good News...

is that I have a new computer. Amazing how small it is compared to the last one we bought. The bad news is...I have a new computer. With Microsoft Vista installed on it. And Outlook instead of Outlook Express. Sigh. New things to learn... new operating systems Shouldn't Be Allowed. Were I more computer literate, doubtless I'd know Exactly What To Do to get things How I Like Them. As it is, well, nice new computer, frazzled old me...

For your viewing delectation...or words to that effect...another picture of Monolith, which has featured on this blog before. It didn't please me, and I couldn't work out why. So, this week, I added some more marks, which seems to give it a coherence that it lacked. Perhaps that is just in my head, of course...or perhaps not. Click on the image for a closer view. And do tell me what you think. That's the joy of lutradur, of course, easy to add a layer of marks quickly and easily. Yes, I'm obsessed...can't help myself!

Just...

to prove myself wrong, this is a less than simple piece. I'm not sure it works, but I don't want to mess with it, either. It's lutradur over a quilted piece, with silks and yarns embellished into it. It's very small, not much bigger than a sheet of paper, but it does have lots of movement in it, which is A Good Thing, I think.

It looks like I'll be going to Lyon this year, to the Expo Magic Patch. Wonder who else is going ? Last year's event looked interesting. I'd love to hear from anyone else who is going, it's always good to meet fellow bloggers and readers alike!

I'm working on various things, some of them personal, some public. We're considering the entries for 'From The Heart'; they look really good; more when the decisions are made.

Simple...

is best. It may not always be easy to achieve, but it's definitely best. In management circles, they have a saying ; Keep It Simple, Stupid! or KISS for short. I try to remember it, but of course, sometimes, I forget, and get into much more elaborate work than I'd intended. But pieces like this, a small embellisher piece, are fun to make and effective just because they are so simple. Next time you find yourself bogged down in your work, try remembering the KISS idea...you never know, it might just help. That, or a good brisk walk! Or both, even!

Occasionally...

and I do mean very occasionally, (this one must be about eight years old, now...doesn't time fly!)I make Useful Quilts. This one, surprise surprise, is called 'The Owl And The Pussycat'. The peagreen boat opens to hold the toys; sadly, I couldn't find an owl small enough to really fit...but the thought was there. And the poem is written in the borders, or part of it, anyway. Next time, if there is one, I'll go find the toys before I actually make the quilt.

A Bit Of Fluff?

Well, yes, in a way. A nest of wool, made with the embellisher. There are a couple of cornicopiae, also. Eggs are a theme for me at the moment, all that unlimited potential (besides, it's Easter, it seems appropriate...), so vessels within which to keep eggs seem a good thing to be making. All I have to do now is make the eggs. Or buy them from Mr Cadbury!

I Like It When...

I find old journals or sketchbooks, there's always something interesting to find. In this one, some questions (and we all know a good question is worth a thousand answers, right?). At what point does the mark become deliberate? Perhaps all marks are deliberate? Are all marks deliberate? What IS a deliberate mark, in the context of say, an abstraction? When does simple become complex? Whene does indiscernible become discernible?

No, I don't know either. But it's important to keep asking.

Hoarding

I suspect we all suffer from it. I'd forgotten, til I came upon this old disc, how many photos I have, and how well meaning I am when I take them. I always mean to use them as inspiration for new work. It never happens. But it does remind me of happy days in Scotland and elsewhere; perhaps that's enough. These are from a day we spent in the West Coast, across to Ullapool from Strathpeffer, then up on the coast as far as Lochinver (great pie shop) and back across country. Wonderful weather, great views, good food; what more could you want?

Making Excuses

We've all done it. The dog ate my homework. I missed the bus. I forgot to set the alarm clock. So, what's my excuse? Well, I was sitting ready to write this when...we had a power cut. A lovely, dramatic power cut, where the power went off...and on again...and off...and on...and off...and stayed off. As luck would have it, I knew not only where the candles were, but where the matches were also. So I managed a chapter of my book before going to sleep...and, of course, as soon as we blew out the candles, on came the power and the downstairs lights...sigh...

I don't have an excuse for not working. I am, really. Just nothing that's showable. Instead, for your delectation, I offer this fab photo of my husband in a kilt. Just for you, Dianne!! It was taken in the hallway of our house in the Highlands. He was going to a business dinner, where all the senior managers wore this particular tartan (of which I know nothing, sorry chaps...). I think he looks fab. If a bit stunned! Sarah, if you're reading, this is what he's likely to look like on the eight of the eighth of the eighth... it's not too late to change your mind!!

Bagging A Bargain

I was out in Norwich yesterday, with my friend Moira. She wanted to know where to buy beads, so I took her to various places that stock them...a real hardship for me, you understand!! I also wanted to buy a book...well, okay, several. I've been reading the Crown of Stars series of books by Kate Elliot. I bought the first four recently, enjoyed them muchly, and wanted to continue. In Waterstone's, we got the penultimate two of the seven, but had to go to another two bookshops to find the third. Dirty work, but someone had to do it... And on the way to the checkout, I found this lovely thing, Milton Glaser's 'Art Is Work', in Borders in their Remaindered section, but with no price on it. So, I took it to the counter and asked. £9.99, was the answer. When she rang it through, though, she said, my, that was a good buy, it was priced at £45 originally...

It's an interesting book, strong visuals as you might expect, not the kind of book I would normally buy, but it was reduced, which made me look, and I found I really liked the writing, especially the introduction. He says;

There seems to be much confusion about what we mean when we use the word art. I have a recommendation. We eliminate the word art and replace it with work and develop the following descriptions:

1. Work that goes beyond its functional intention and moves us in deep and mysterious ways we call great work.

2. Work that is conceived and executed with elegance and rigour we call good work.

3. Work that meets its intended need honestly and without pretence we call simply work.

4. Everything else, the sad and shoddy stuff of daily life, can come under the heading of bad work.

This simple change will eliminate anxiety for thousands of people who worry about whether they are artists or not, but this is not its most significant consequence. More importantly, it can restore art to a central, useful activity in daily life - something for which we have been waiting for a very long while'

I'm with you, Milton. And I'm very glad I bought your book (Milton Glaser, Art is Work, ISBN 0-500-51028-8. And if you can't afford the book, go look at the website...you'll love it.

I Was Struck...

by Felicity's comment yesterday. She said, 'I wonder sometimes if depression is seeing things exactly as they are and 'normality' (governed by society) is self delusion (trying not to think of the things that we really should by busying ourselves with endless distraction).

I think, myself, that depression is an illness, as opposed to a state of mind...if you see what I mean. When I'm depressed, I see the world in a different light altogether. There is no hope, no light, no joy, only the promise of more of the same. My work seems worthless; my self, even more so. When the depression is under control, I recognise the beauties of the world, and that I am worth something, rather than nothing. I recognise that I am loved, and that I love in return. There might even be hope...

Tidying up, I found an old disc from 1999, hence the (rather poor) picture. The piece is in guid Scots wool, a semi abstract landscape, 'Heart Of The Country'. It's a reminder of what I used to do, and how differently I work now, but I still have a sneaking fondness for it, even though I can't even remember what happened to it...

Lying Fallow...

...hibernating, call it what you will, but I seem unable to work on anything...I was going to say, meaningful, but that's not strictly true. For public consumption, might be a better expression. I find myself looking inwards, trying to understand what the purpose of this illness is, how I might come to better terms with it. So I'm working on altered books, endlessly prepping, impatient to get to the creative bits, but knowing that preparation is all... and playing with paper, too. Eventually, I may well show the work, but not right now.

But just to prove that I'm still obsessed by the embellisher, a new piece, made with some delicious silk bought on my shopping spree last week. I knew it would work well, and it has. Just think, I have a whole metre of it...delicious...

I Rarely Buy...

what I can make, but I made an exception for this beautiful leatherbound journal...isn't it beautiful? I wanted a special journal for recording things of importance, beauty and/or wisdom, the kind of thing you need to remember when times are hard and hope is but a memory of better days. I thought this was perfect. I have no idea who made it, sadly, I'd like to congratulate him/her, but hey... I bought it in one of my favourite places in Norwich, the King Of Hearts, a beautiful 16th century Merchant's House that is both art gallery and conference venue, as well as having a good coffee shop and a space for music performances, including its own harpsichord.

Now, of course, all I have to do is find the appropriate words to write in the journal... it's always difficult to know where to start. Perhaps the most appropriate of quotations to begin with would be from Julian of Norwich, a mystic from the 14th century. All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. It seems to be a good place to start for any kind of venture.

Cats...

are contrary critters. I watched one this morning from the car, killing time before an appointment (I'm congenitally early for everything, and therapy is far from being an exception; today, I arrived early enough to go do a bit of shopping...). Anyway, I was parked on a quiet road that is obviously used a lot by learners. One learner stopped abreast of a car, obviously ready to parallel park. S/he blew it somewhat, and in the space of time it took the driver to manoeuvre back out of things, and into a better line with the kerb, a beautiful, fluffy tabby cat strolled out into the middle of the road, thought the better of it, and plonked herself down just where the car should have ended up. And sat there. And sat there. And washed. She (I just think it had to be a she...) had chosen to sit just outside of reach of the car, so when it successfully reached the kerb, she calmly rose and strolled out across the road...in front of another learner driver, who probably panicked magnificently and slammed on the brakes. None of this worried said cat. In fact, when she'd got to the other side, and the car had gone, she changed her mind, strolled back over the road, and then realised that there was A Human coming...that spooked her, and off she ran. Cars were clearly okay; Humans, not.

Nothing done today; therapy is exhausting, so I slept the afternoon away in company with my own dozy felines. The picture is an encaustic made earlier on this week. The scan doesn't do justice to the many layers of colour and the texture.

When The Going Gets Tough...

the tough go shopping. Even those of us whose demons would prefer to stay at home, thanks, hear the occasional call of the mall... In my case, it was less the call of the mall than the whisper of the voucher for artists supplies that I was given for Christmas and hadn't yet spent. How's that for restraint?

So... there I was. A bit like a child in a sweetie shop, but with less restraint. They like me in that shop...they ask if they I'm happy browsing, and when I say, oh, YES, they say, 'thought so', and leave me to it. I thought that I'd buy things I hadn't used before, mostly, since this wasn't money I'd expected to have. So I bought some GAC 200 which I've heard June talk about, but never used (expect to have your brains picked soon, June...). It says it reduces the tackiness of acrylics...I wonder if that will help with the main problem I have with altered books, Pages Stuck Together That Weren't Meant To Be...sigh... I bought some proper etching ink, which is expensive but lovely to work with. And some other mediums for working with oil paint. And some more lino to make blocks with. So I have new toys to play with, which will be fun. I also bought some cloth today, some horrendously expensive but very beautiful silk to use with the embellisher, and some other bits and pieces. I would have bought some vintage linen sheets from Oxfam to dye, but they were more expensive than the ones I bought at an antique shop, so Perhaps Not.

The painting is another IMTOL, this one 'freefall'. The image above is the whole piece, the one at left here, a detail. You should be able to see a larger image if you click on the photos.

Altering Books...

...takes a long time, somehow. It's all the preparation you have to do before you can start, removing pages, sticking them together, gesso and stuff... I'm making two books. One of them is a small thing, that I had started to prepare a couple of weeks ago, and have just kept going. The other is larger, a squareish shape, unusual, I thought, and that will be a journal of sorts, to be kept during the therapeutic journey and doubtless beyond. These conversations with a friendly stranger fill my head with images; I thought I'd use them, this time, play with them, see where they take me. I've just switched the encaustic plate on, too, thinking that I'd do a little encaustic work in between pages, something to do while muttering about how long things take to dry. Besides, it warms the conservatory up somewhat, which is always a good thing in winter, even if it is a relatively warm winter which is wending its way towards spring.

The top image is Gravid; the bottom two are In More Than One Language paintings, Emerging and Outpouring. All are oils, Gravid on canvas, the other two on board. Now to see what Advo wants, make myself a quick cup of coffee and go play with the wax!

Turn Your Back...

...for a minute or two, well, okay, a couple of days, and some cat or other will obligingly create a nest for herself (not naming any names, are we, Molly?) in whatever textiles are lying around. In this case, it's bits and pieces and samples from the embellisher. At some point, I suppose, I'll have to decide what to do with them; at the moment, though, I'm just Making More Bits, and trying things out. Helen very kindly brought me some lovely black wool cloth to play with, and some fleece, Jacob and Alpaca, too. Doubtless, between that and the paints, I'll be kept out of mischief for another wee whilie.

I find the textile work and the paintings are coming closer together, somehow. I'm contemplating a swap to acrylic paint (from oils), to allow me to work with textile and cloth on canvas; the effects of oil paints on cloth are problematic, though I've seen paint and textile used together recently without any apparent preparation keeping the two separate, ie no gesso or other medium between them... who knows? I've got a painting somewhere that has scraps of silk embedded into the oils; it was painted a couple of years ago, and still seems fine. I like the embellisher, the way it allows me to paint with cloth, yet distorts the imagery on it, dilutes it somewhat. It fits in with the way I'm working just now, considering mark making, its interpretation, the way we reach to create meaning for ourselves in what we see, the way we blind ourselves to what we think is extraneous, even if, in fact, it isn't. Just like therapy, really. Looking again at what we take for granted, at who we think we are, or might have been, or even should have been...and making what changes seem appropriate. Just like painting, really...

Thank you...

for the good words and kind thoughts. I know I'm not alone, but sometimes it's hard to remember...

Another small, simple effort, this time an encaustic. I still feel worn out, so I'm doing a bit of this, and a bit of that, when I feel like it, and taking it easy when I don't. The encaustic set up is downstairs in the conservatory, easy to play with when I feel like it.

Back From Beyond?

Well, no. Not quite. But I'm getting there.

Depression is a constant in my life. When I say that, I don't mean that I'm full of doom, gloom, hellfire and despondency all the time; far from it. Actually, in truth, I spend a lot of time denying to myself and others that I have any kind of a problem. That's not really a useful strategy, but it has worked for most of my life. These days, it doesn't work so well, mainly because the illness is insistent that I admit the limitations it places on me. I'm a very slow learner. One of the things it reminds me is that I'm not Superwoman. Hell, I knew that; I don't wear my underpants outside my trousers, for a start... Sadly, however, that doesn't mean that I don't behave like Superwoman every now and again, take on too much and crash and burn. That's what happened recently, and why I've been so silent. Now, you find me starting to pick up the pieces, and make decisions.

I'm simplifying my life; I'm giving up the running of Alternativequiltlist on yahoo, and becoming an associate, rather than a full member of The Well. Going backwards to go forwards. Allowing myself some space and time to be, rather than to do. I'm not any sadder than I was, but I do hope I come out of this wiser. Why is being kind to oneself so difficult? Or even just remembering what I need, and providing it?

I'm beginning to paint again, after a period when I thought all my work was unbearably awful, textiles, paintings, the works... moving back to process when for a time, I got distracted by outcomes. The paintings are gentle, like this one, Blue Moon, a simple little square painting.