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Wednesday, October 03, 2018

Trusting The Process.... all there is, really.  I spent most of the morning avoiding stitching the new piece, and couldn't work out why.  It didn't feel like being lazy...goodness knows, I know how that feels, and this wasn't it.  I had intended to stitch lines down the whole of the piece, representing tears...except... I made three, and then thought...what am I doing? 

For me, it's all about meaning.  Stitch for the sake of it, because I've always done it that way, isn't my thing.  So I took a closer look at what this piece represents...and discovered that actually, it's about holding it together.  The stitch needed to show that...and here's the finished piece.

There are three lines of stitch on the left hand side, and a single line on the right.  The silk carrier rod has been stitched on, and there are a four stitches holding the tiny piece of rust dyed silk at the top.  And that's it. Just enough to hold it together. 

Because that's what's going on in my life, at present.  I know how to live with this illness, but I don't know how to live with it well, with conviction.  My life is roughly the size of a postage stamp, where before it was a huge, bright canvas.  It's difficult to adapt to, because the parameters change from day to day.  So all I can do is hold it all together, and persist.  And try to make something meaningful out of it, for myself and, hopefully, for others.

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