So Many Ideas...

so little energy... so how to choose?  Good question.  There isn't a right way to do this...I tend to go with a combination of what my gut tells me is important, and what kind of technique I feel like using at the time, and which fits with the theme.  So, for me, I suppose, work roughly divides into two categories;  experimental and expressive.  Experimental is all about the technique, really; the theme comes second.  Expressive is about having something to say, and finding a way to say it; the theme dominates, and the technique is subservient.  The latter, for me, is the real work; the former, though, can inform and feed that real work, encourage it to develop. 

This, the first of the ME pieces, is a classic example of expressive.  I have a theme, the way ME affects my life, and I'm making work that explores that, through metaphor and hidden meanings.  I already know what the second piece in this series will look like, have bought the base fabric, a deep grey, and now need to do some experimental work with the cloth, to see if my original thoughts on what to do and how to do it, are actually possible.  So, as you can see, the two categories are very loose; they interact.  I usually don't know if a piece is expressive or experimental until I'm half way through it.   What do I mean by that?  Well... lots of artists make sketches and trial pieces; not me.  Everything I make is intended as a finished piece, not as a sketch, although I do finish things, sometimes, and think, ok, that's a sketch.  That's about process, more than anything.  It's why, although I have a sketchbook, I don't create fully fledged artist's sketchbooks as, for example, for City and Guilds.  I work things out on the piece, not in the sketchbook.  I might take notes, to remind myself of what I did, but I don't work out what I'm going to do in the book, first.  I feel that stifles spontaneity, and spontaneity to me is an essential part of my process.  

Experimental, though, is slightly different.  Experimental is usually answering a particular question, such as 'what will happen if I just...'.  Lots of my work evolves from questions like those.  Often they arise when making an expressive piece, and lead to a series within that expressive theme.  If not, then that question may lead to a different series of expressive work, with a different theme.  I'm not doing much in the way of experimental at present; rather, I'm finishing off bits and pieces that I started in the rental, utilitarian pieces, like a cushion for Cara and a small quilt for my sister's dog.    Though 'Flow' was an experimental piece,  

an experiment with constructed cloth, something that has been on my mind for a number of years.  This one had been put together differently to the other constructed cloth I'd made, and the stitch was also different.  So, as well as the reasons I had for making the piece, which I described here, there was a whole raft of experimental thinking going on, testing of hypotheses.  Worked fairly well.

I try to stick with themes.  The ME pieces need to be made, because the ideas are there, but also because I need to work through my feelings about the illness, and come to some sort of conclusion.  I don't perceive it as therapy, and I hope above hope that they are not seen as pieces only made to make me feel better, because I think that attitude diminishes them, and me, somehow.  I feel the same about ME as I did about depression, still do, come to think of it....that something positive has to come out of all this darkness.  I have a real interest in trees and flowers.  I can't really see myself making representational floral or tree pieces; however, I am developing something based on another piece I made recently, an example of an experimental piece being a catalyst for an expressive piece (I'll talk about that tomorrow).  And then there's the fun stuff, the stuff like Cara's cushion, that will give someone else pleasure, and I'll enjoy making them.

I'm not sure if I'm making a lot of sense at a thought level, but I've just read this over, and it feels at an emotional level to be a reasonable explanation of what's important for me to make just now... basically, meaning comes first, then theme. then everything else fits in behind.