Friday, February 03, 2006
Marion's Day Off.
Well, it was, and it wasn't. Today, I made no art. I slept a lot, snacked a bit, drank copious amounts of (decaf) coffee, and was generally self indulgent. However, I did do quite a bit of thinking. I've been invited to submit work to an ezine, and I spent time pulling together the gist of what I was going to write about. I also did myself a big favour. I asked for help.
I rarely ask for help, even when I really need it. I do my best to hide how I feel, or what I need, as if somehow, it was a weakness to admit that I can't do everything, or don't know everything. Recently, the depression has been In Charge, and that makes asking for help even harder. Depression changes my world into a place where I have no value, life has little meaning and perfection isn't good enough. It affects everything, including the art, and it is difficult to get out of that dark place. I've been fortunate enough to have a little help recently to see that, to be reminded that change is possible, and it has been invaluable. I feel as if there is light at the end of my particular tunnel, and no, it's not an oncoming train!
So, today, I made a phone call. I talked to a lovely potter, who is willing to teach me the basics of pottery, one to one, so that I can make some raku with confidence that it won't explode in the kiln...and give me some advice on the kind of equipment I need. I have wanted to do this for a very long time, and finally, I have made it happen. Amongst other things, I'm hoping to make small embellishments for my work...and some elements for 3D raku/texile pieces. Wish me luck in my new adventure!