Up And Out...

I've been struggling with depression again for the past few weeks. One of my friends asked me if I had read my own book, 'Finding Your Creative Focus'. 'I've read it', she said, 'It makes a lot of sense. I just wonder if you remember what you wrote'. Of course, I could... albeit not in graphic detail. But I do know that one of the things I think I said in there, was the need to turn up to work regardless of how you feel. No waiting for inspiration to strike, or the muse to call; you just turn up and do the work.

I did that today. I worked on three small pieces, one of which is shown here. And I remembered; I feel sooo much better the minute I start to work. And the improvement in my mood continues for the rest of the day. I just don't seem to be able to remember that work equals happy. Which is rather a pity. But it only seems to be effective if I decide to work without anyone suggesting it to me. No idea why that is... perhaps it's just the habitual reaction of someone who has been told to 'snap out of it', and knows how impossible that is. Making beautiful things, though...that works. And that's how I got up and out of today's bad feelings; hopefully it will continue on into tomorrow. I've promised myself a day of stitching, though, so even if it doesn't appear to have lasted, it will soon come back again.

This particular thing is a manipulated macro image of part of a cyclamen plant, printed on canvas and then stitched into. I've added a detail shot of some of the stitching, and for once got the images uploaded in the right order. That's another thing I can't remember, the order in which I need to upload files to get them to look right... but that's another story. Meanwhile, I'm wondering if actually reading the book would help with the depression, too. I think that for too long, my focus has been too broad. Many moons ago, business guru Tom Peters suggested that successful businesses needed to 'stick to the knitting'. I've finished the scarf I mentioned in the last post, and will start another one, I think, but I don't see knitting in my future, just as I don't see other forms of art, like altered books, except for fun. I do see these manipulated images, lots of flowers, a few hearts and a lot more fun in my life. I think it's time. Now, where's my copy...

Making Magic?

I have been known to say that 'I haven't got a magic wand'. Well, I have now. I saw it in a shop and decided that I just had to have it. I'm going to tart it up a bit, you understand, but this is the basic no frills magic wand that every girl just has to have. I have it displayed in a prominent place near my computer, as a reminder that, no matter how much I tart it up, it's not going to work UNLESS...

1. I know what I want to achieve. Whether that's cleaning the workshop out or creating a body of work, it doesn't really matter. I have to know what I want.

2. Turning up to do the work. If I don't make the time for this, I'm never going to make the work, clean out the workshop etc.

3. Being kind to myself. I need to look after myself properly, so that I can get things done.

4. Having a plan. If I want to achieve lots of different things, I need to work out what my priorities are, and use my time accordingly.

5. Turning up to do the work. Yes, it really does matter more than any of the rest of it.

So...I keep my magic wand to remind me that I don't need a magic wand. All I need to do is get on with it (whatever it is)...

ps if you need a bit of help with this, try looking at the Creative Focus book...it works the same as my magic wand, except that it helps you to do all the things I mentioned... and it's just as pretty!

Professional Procrastination

Never put off til tomorrow what you can put off til next week... no, that's not right, is it? But lots of people put things off indefinitely, and I can be numbered amongst them, sometimes... Usually, I'm waiting for 'the right time'. That special, elusive 'right' time, when I'll a. feel like it b. have everything available c. want to do it d. know I can do it e. have the time to do it....and I'm sure there are lots of other things that have to be in place before I can do whatever it is.

Now, if what I'm trying to do is something unpleasant, you could perhaps see the point in putting it off. But often, what I'm aiming to do is, in fact, what I WANT to be doing...or so I say, anyway. So what's wrong with that picture? I don't let anything get in between me and a bar of chocolate (my friends and colleagues will confirm that). So why would I let things get in the way of making art? Sometimes it's to do with not being ready. I have an idea for the new Quilters Guild Contemporary Quilt Group challenge, for instance. It's part of a much larger idea I have about scars, erosion and things breaking through to the surface from the depths. I've been playing with this for a while, working with marks and images in between the writing of the books. Sitting here, now, thinking about it, that series has been ready to make for a while. I've just been doing other things, like writing, and the Paid Job, and Festival of Quilts. All of those things are great fun, and a good way to spend my time. However, and it's a big however, it doesn't get the art made.

So, what do I really want? At the moment, I want to finish the Evolon book, which is so nearly done that it hurts, to send away all the orders I've had for the completed book over the last few days (thank you all!) and to call the bank for information that I need to complete my tax form. And oh, yes, I want to make art. So, today and tomorrow, I have the time I need to clear my feet, fulfil those orders, meet with the art teacher at the school to discuss a potential project, nip to the doctor's to collect my happy pills (always important!). I'll also run a workshop on Tuesday night, and hopefully go to my friend Jill's opening (it's her MA finals show, and I don't want to miss it). I might even manage to shoehorn a haircut into Tuesday pm... And then I have three days at work. And then it's the weekend, and I have four whole days to focus on the art and the book.

Procrastination is fine, if you've got the time for it. I don't. So I have focussed on the essentials, my commitments in the short term, and I've decided how to tackle them. Many of these things are just a phonecall away. That takes five minutes from a whole day. The post office will take an hour, so will the school visit. But that's still a lot of time to get moving on what needs to be done. I'll be able to sit down with the Evolon manuscript and see exactly where I am with it, and scope out how I'm going to finish it in the next week or so. I've done enough worrying about fixing it; now it's time to fix it. Deep breath, and on it goes.

I talk about procrastination at some length in the Creative Focus book. It doesn't get a chapter to itself, though; it isn't that important. We just make it important in our heads. A bit of planning and a lot of focus gets us to where we want to be, and quickly, too. And I might just get a small bar of chocolate to reward myself with after all that work...I am on a diet, after all! But the main reward for this kind of planning is the feeling you get afterwards, that you have achieved everything you needed to, and the time ahead is now clear to get on with what you really want to do.

ps You know you're not making enough art when you can't find a new photo for a blog post... this one is 'Sun God', one of the projects in the upcoming Evolon book, a rust dyed and stamped piece of Evolon, ready for stitch.

At last...

...here they are, in glorious technicolour. Lovely Lutradur and Finding Your Creative Focus had their respective debuts at Festival Of Quilts, and now they're popping up for sale on my other blog
Or at least, Finding Focus is there, Lovely Lutradur will appear later on today, or possibly tomorrow. I've been catching up with my admin work today, sending some books away, some CDs too. Self employed persons don't get Bank Holidays, and neither do those of us who work Wednesday to Friday (aww...). Now all that remains is for me to finish the Exquisite Evolon book, which is in the process of having its gallery put to rights, and I'll have that with me at the Knitting and Stitching Show at Harrogate. Hurrah!

I had a great time at Festival of Quilts, particularly teaching. I love teaching, and everyone in the classes rose to the occasion, and seemed to go away happy, and with some lovely work in process, too. For once, I managed not to buy much at all in the way of supplies, but then, I was really busy... and finally, on Sunday, managed to make the book with Lutradur XL that I'd been promising I'd make all week... For those of you wondering what Lutradur XL is, it's a heavy weight lutradur, which, as well as being interesting to work with in its own right, is a wonderful substitute for Pelmet Vilene. I prefer it, in fact, as it doesn't give off fluff in the sewing machine, and it takes colour much better than Pelmet Vilene, particularly line. So...some experiments with that, maybe even a new book... watch this space!

Tomorrow is gallery day, which is always fun. I usually take hand work to do, but might just play with my sewing machine, for fun. There's a piece of Evolon which I transfer dyed which is just begging to be stitched... And then, I have the workshop in the evening, which we've transferred from the Wednesday night, as I now work three days a week, and was finding it too tiring to zoom around at work all day and then zoom around in the gallery in the evening. We are meant to be working on Beautiful Backgrounds, but last week's class on designing and making dolls was very well received, and the people who attended want to make more dolls. So we might end up with two classes running simultaneously... stranger things have happened. At least I'm flexible...