Thursday, October 18, 2012
I'm finally recovered from the flu, and starting to make space around myself for creative things to happen. My upstairs studios have had stuff dumped in them, as I work my way through the house, decluttering and muttering... Now, it's time to get that sorted out. I spent half a day this weekend, just sifting through one of the rooms, and found a remarkable amount of unfinished work. I've been beating myself up for not making much in the past two years, only to find that I've got plenty to be working with for the meantime, thanks.
I've gone back into therapy, the demon depression has been biting again. The major focus of that is to help me to get out of my own way; there is a whole tangle of 'stuff', a bit like the thorny forest surrounding Sleeping Beauty's castle, that needs to be pruned back and sorted. It's hard, painful work; those thorns scratch! Part of what I'm learning is that I seem to have moved away from the work I do best, the work 'about' depression and mental health issues, the work about feelings. Instead, I've been chasing the elusive 'sellable' work, that seems to be indefinable, at least for me. Nobody seems to want to buy my work; that's not a complaint, it's a fact. So I may as well please myself, and make the strong depression work, the work about feelings, and starve happy!