Tuesday, February 28, 2006
I've been having what I usually refer to as a 'bad day'. Because I haven't been well, because I've overstretched myself over the past few weeks, I'm wobbly and weepy and, surprise, surprise, tired. When I feel like that, I don't usually want to do anything. But I have been following a course of computerised therapy, which, surprisingly, seems to be working, even if it does have a condescending voice and a nasty habit of commiserating with me (to which I say rude things...I know a computer can't feel anything, much less commiserate, I'm depressed, dammit, not stupid). The computer says (aaaaaargh, see, it's got me saying that....) that even when you don't feel like doing things, it's A Good Idea to do them anyway. So, rather than sit in bed all day, and I admit, I was tempted, even though Sally woke me earlier than intended this morning by phoning me up and being cheerful(ish),I decided to play with my encaustics.
I like working with encaustics. I produced three or so pieces, one of which, Elemental 1, is pictured here. The one I like best is only just finished and therefore not photographed. It's wild, semistructured and, I think (I hope) exciting. There's an assumption that if you're depressed, you must make stuff that's depressing...or at least, dark. Phooey. I have made art 'about' depression, but mostly, I make art for the joy of it. I have other fish to fry. I may be depressed, but there's no real reason to let it take over my life. Or my art, for that matter. So, it may have felt like a bad day, and maybe it was, but it was a productive one, and I had fun despite myself. Amazing, what you can do when you try.